GENERAL PETRAEUS HOOKS UP WITH KHLOE KARDASHIAN!

Holy Crap! The horny General who got busted cheating on his "She should be a nun" wife (honestly. I'm sure she's a sweetheart and all but she makes Susan Boyle look like a Bikini Babe!) just got caught butt banging Lamar's Ex! Actually, my source on this news breaking story is a known drunk and liar, so the story may not be true. Considering the microscope the guy is under right now the story is probably untrue. Still, Khloe Kardashian and the General would be quite the scoop. Kris and Bruce Jenner may be getting a divorce. I have it on unreliable authority that the reason for their split is because Bruce has been butt banging Khloe. Also that Kris Jenner is blowing Chaz Bono!